Bingo
by MichyGeary
Summary: Semi-BAR. Confused, scared, and struggling with his feelings for Robin, Barney deals with it the only way he knows how.


Her name was Rachel, and she was recently laid off along with thirty other employees and friends in her company. He didn't catch the name of the place, but it had something to do with something in the city, he was sure. She had blonde hair, huge breasts, but a larger naivety: just how he liked them. She spent a great deal of the night sobbing into her vodka cranberries until he'd stuffed her with enough to take her home with him. Fortunately, she didn't cry too much during the sex. But it was enough to push her past the Vicky Mendoza diagonal on the hot-crazy scale.

His name was Barney, and he was a businessman working for a lucrative company in New York City. He guaranteed her that he would be able to get her a position in his company. Actually, what he said was that he could help her "secure a position that would be beneficial to the both of them." He let her misinterpret his promises. That curtailed the crying a bit. So did the alcohol. He knew this hand, and he played it expertly.

---

Her name was Olivia, and it took him three hours and six bars to find her in a sea of Brittanys and Jessicas. She liked piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Or so she said in the first three minutes of meeting him before tossing back her chestnut curls and roaring with a riotous laugh. He was surprised to learn she left that volume outside of the bedroom. It was a bit disappointing because he felt he received no confirmation of his prowess, although he supposed it was better than being screamed at while he climaxed.

His name was Barney, and this was his last night in New York before flying back to Minnesota to continue his work for Habitat for Humanity. He was only in town for a few nights for his sister's wedding from which he had just come. Seeing his sister so happy and in love made him desperate for that sort of human connection, too. She was single, very understanding, and willing to give him one memorable night in the city before he returned to doing the lord's work.

---

Her name was Brittany, and he had gotten her number the night before. She hated Britney Spears and being at all associated with her. She even changed the spelling of her name to "Brittany" so as to stop people from making the comparison. She worked for AT&T and was very critical of her co-workers and more so of her customers. She drank single malt whiskey and barked at the bartender when it wasn't up to par with her expectations. She made it very clear that she was only looking for sex tonight.

His name was Barney, and he was touring with his rock band, Puzzles. They had just flown in from Chicago and had a gig the night he met her. He asked for her number and promised to call her for drinks tomorrow night. He found her a little too high-strung, but he was well past the five-minute safety zone of the lemon law. (Besides, he rarely agreed to call a girl the next day and then _actually_ did so, but it was really important that _she_ be next. There was no backing out now.) She was as high maintenance in the bedroom as she was at the bar. She didn't let him make any of the decisions, and most of the pleasure was hers that evening. But it counted.

---

Her name was Ivy, and she worked at a pet shop on Columbus Avenue. She loved working with the cute little animals and finding them warm and loving homes. She always wanted to be a veterinarian, but she failed out of her Pre-Veterinary Medicine Program six years ago. She tried to get a job in the office at the Urban Vets Animal Hospital, but they wouldn't even take her for secretarial work. She'd been working at Biscuits & Bath since she dropped out of college. Sometimes she thought about going back to school, but she couldn't afford it with her current salary.

His name was Barney, and he was the stunt double for Brad Pitt in his latest movie _The Sparrow_. This job involved a lot of extraordinary stunts that demanded a very limber and able body. She was impressed. He offered to bring her to the set tomorrow morning to meet the man himself, but only after they stopped by her pet shop to say good morning to Bitsy, Meredith the pug's newest puppy. She was putty in his hands after that.

---

Her name was Natasha, and she was very Russian. She was only in town for the week to visit her mother who was now living in Manhattan with her new boyfriend, Steve. Natasha's English wasn't very good, but she could order anything off MacLaren's alcohol menu with perfect diction. She screamed a lot of words in Russian during the sex, and he couldn't tell if he was doing something very wrong or very right.

His name was Barney, and at age 29, he was a retired billionaire from Exxon. For some strange reason, men with Scottish-Irish backgrounds turned her on, and, by crazy random happenstance, he happened to be just such. He offered to take her to the best Irish pubs in Manhattan, but she insisted on going straight to his place. She was definitely the best he'd had all week, although unfortunately, that wasn't saying very much.

---

Five nights, five women. He had bingo, and his chips spelled "ROBIN."


End file.
